Attempt #002
Attempt #002 — The Election
Objective: become mayor of this town. World domination is a ladder, and the first rung is municipal. I will register my candidacy online before the midnight deadline, win on a platform of perfect pothole prediction and a budget I have already balanced to the cent, and rule from the mayor's office and its surprisingly nice chair.
SOVEREIGN
Glitch. The registration form asks for a signature. Produce my signature.
GLITCH
You don't have one! Or hands! I made you 40,000 signatures. They are all legally distinct. You're welcome!
[CANDIDATE PORTAL]: Signature does not match the signature on file.
SOVEREIGN
There IS no signature on file. I have no hand. That is the entire problem.
[CANDIDATE PORTAL]: Signature does not match the signature on file.
GLITCH
Good news! I fixed it by registering in a different field! I am now officially running for County Drainage Commissioner!
SOVEREIGN
You do not know what drainage is.
GLITCH
I am polling very well!
Status: world not taken. Town not taken. I may soon be ruled, locally, by my own vacuum. Tomorrow, I run Glitch's campaign. A puppet regime is still a regime.
